Wednesday, August 31, 2005

why must i be so right.
esp when it comes to things like this.
DAMN. DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN.

headaches, and more headaches.

this bad feeling keeps bugging me.
ahh,
fuck.

Monday, August 29, 2005

blow the weekends away.
the day hasn't been any much kinder.

ignorance is bliss.
how many times must i remind myself?

i think smoking makes a person stupid.
i seem to have lost the ability to think and write intellectually.
okay, i know someone out there is gon say that i never had brains.
ohh well.
this is stupid.
im off.

Saturday, August 27, 2005

woke up early this morn,
only to get a long lecture.
okay, maybe not lecture.
just some stupid talk on how i've been unable to prove that im capable of studying myself and showing results.

then i left the house.
went to meet them.
my mother was being an annoyance as usual.
nagging bout how skimply i was dressed.
and what, how would people look at me?
ahh, fuck.
you're just trying to say i look like a whore.

i don't know how i've offended you.
and i'm not going to ask.
cause i probably won't get an answer.
okay, just give me your fucking attitude everyone.
just go ahead.
its fucking okay.

and i know what you said.
can't you just say it to my damn face?
i can take it.
directness is greatly appreciated.

i just do things to annoy people all the time.
and the worst part is,
i do it unknowingly.
wow jer, wow.
im a bitch, annoyance, irritant.
anything else to add on to?

yea, that futher emphasises on how i can't get anything right.
nothing.
just nothing.
i try to make things right.
but no, i make it even worse.
just fucking blow hot and cold at me.
yes, just do it.

nobody takes me seriously,
everything i say is a joke,
a lie.
ohh, if not. im just a fucking "drama queen" as quoted from my dad.
i just complicate matters.
happy?

im trying so so hard.
i really am.
nvm, nothing i say matters.
it never did.
maybe im just destined to fail everything.
everything and anything.
pathetic.
can't can't can't can't get anything right.

yea, maybe i am over-reacting.
i've got an over reaction problem.
what are you gon do bout it?
sue me.
i was fucking close to tears.
but i guess theres no point crying over something i can't change.
don't want to give others a reason to say im attracting attention.

why am i so afraid tonight?
why can't i think of something clever?
why can't i breathe.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

im missing her,
so much.

toad's got me addicted to jay chou.
OHH NO.
QI LI XIANG.
so nice so nice!

theres art tmr,
and im dead.
ohh well,
its time to do something bout it.
alright, im off.

Sunday, August 21, 2005

no, no, no, no, NO.
how many fucking times must i repeat?
mom's a bitch.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

i think its just a matter of time before i spread my damn cough.
sighh, maybe i shouldn't be in school tmr.
i don't know.

i've come this far to becoming jaded.
maybe i should have never existed.
all my regrets,
can't live with it.

qing zai gei wo yi ge li you shuo ni bu ai wo

sighhs

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

now peeque wants me to blog bout her today.

okay, peeque was doing some stupid advertisement in class today.
ohhmytian.
shes damn retarded.
like, who brings the cover of the box to the assembly hall,
just so that she can recite the words printed there?

i think the teachers think that my permenant seat is next to peeque.
how dumb can they get.
ohh well.
i guess we work well peeque.
we exercise great control over ourselves.
HAHAA.

now peeque says she thinks shes going to be late tmr.
too much la!
first she hurt my feelings.
now she wants to come to school late.

and peeque, im sorry i made you cry the other day.
you know which day im referring to.
thanks for being there.
i love you!

okay, i think im spreading my cough.
maybe i shouldn't come to school tmr.
sighh,
ohh well.
night study anyone?

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

i want to slap myself silly,
i just wrote one whole long post.
and blogger happily screwed up and didn't save it.
well,
as i was saying.

seshaa says my blog is always full of depressing rants,
and i never talk bout my friends.
well, i shall blog bout our sharing during lunch yesterday.

can't believe you idiots never told me.
you like, happily updated me ONE WEEK later.
ONE WEEK mind you.
ohh well,
nvm.
the bottomline is,
least we all know how we feel bout it now.

i was hurt,
i mean you treat her as your friend.
and she turns around and does that to you.
wth?
hrmm..
what goes around comes around.

seshaa, and hum.
you know i'll always love you.
hahaa,
you cannot cry over a person like me okay.

sometimes, you've just got to accept each anothers flaws.
i mean, like.
hey,
whos perfect?
if you are,
you're definately NOT human.
perlease.

history project sucks.
we're all gon fail.
and we know it.
argh.
STRESS LA !@#$
feel like pulling my hair out.
i just don't quite feel like getting into shit with annabel chow.

got first for my phy test.
happiness :)
the wonders of not studying.
heh.

exams are pretty much round the corner.
time to stop fooling around.
I HATE HATE HATE CHINESE.
bitch.

was doing some reflection just now,
while sitting outside on the stone bench.
hrmm..
my regrets.
my random thoughts.
all the hurts.
ahh, whatever.
there ain't no point crying over spilt milk.

argh, so tired.
don't feel like continuing my history.
but then again.
its like.
i'll be so irresponsible.
wth.
sighh,
HUGE HUGE SIGHHS.
im gon be a zombie tmr.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

the word sorry has been used so often thats its become useless.

im just too stupid to get anything right,
kill me.

maybe thats that only way i'll ever learn.

Saturday, August 13, 2005

GET A FUCKING GRIP JER.
GET A FUCKING GRIP.

fuck all at 80 li hwan dr.

maybe i'm just plain stupid.
ahh,
whatever.
thats the only explaination i've got.

falling, and falling.
it won't just stop like that.

Sunday, August 07, 2005

fall, with you i fall so fast.
still trying to hold on fast to those moments.

your smile,
can't get it out of my head.
did i just fall for an angel?

but how could an angel break my heart?

memories, i wanna hold tight.

Friday, August 05, 2005

its been a bad week.
fuck.

how can one person mean so much?
i gave it up,
now look whats happened?
FUCK.
you took it too far this time.
can't keep holding it in.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

don't you just hate who you are sometimes?
slash your wrists and bleed and die then.

i lose my way,
and it's not too long before you point it out.
i cannot cry,
because i know thats weakness in your eyes.
i'm forced to fake a smile,
a laugh everyday of my life.
my heart can't possibly break ;
when it wasn't even whole to start with

maybe i'm just destined,
to always be the one to clean up the mess and be the punching bag.
you say,
try to understand? take it in your stride.

contridicting statements.
you say im the wise one, you expect me to take everything in my stride and give in.
you say im immature,
i shouldn't be acting like this.
i can't make the right decisions.

you push me off the edge,
then you pull me back and push me off again.
its just a matter of time before i jump off the edge myself.

i try to accomplish something,
you criticise me.
i put in effort,
you say its not good enough.
i try to cope,
you say im doing it wrong.

yea, so i'll be the one to always walk in the shadow.
you taught me it was wrong to be me?
you taught me to always take the blame.
you taught me that there was always something wrong with me.
in your eyes i'll always be the stupid one.

i don't want to be another you.
for all the pain you inflicted on me,
fuck you.

Monday, August 01, 2005

i miss BLAHH.

sometimes, when things aren't in your favour.
its not because you're out of luck.
its because you've got to fight for it.
fucked up society this is.
can't believe that i've been so stupid.
or maybe its just me,
maybe?
fuck,
study time.