Saturday, April 30, 2005

numb the pain.
somebody?

why do we need emotions.
damnit.

Friday, April 29, 2005

gave school a miss today.
and no.
it wasn't planned wit pq and seshaa.
coincidences.

aint got much to comment bout the past few days.
cept tt im really tired and drained.
hrmm. stomachs been hurting.
don know why.

fuck, mom found some stuff.
shes been giving me hell.
so has my dad.
i won give in so easily.
and meanwhile,
i'll live life the way i like.

there ain't no point dwelling in the past.
all that hurts,
just blow away.
i still missyou.
damnit. WHY?!

shes hot stuff.
ohh, you make me smile.

imperfect by nature ;
seeking perfection.

fuck,
whats wrong wit perfect10?
all these depressing songs.
damnit.

this is prob the messiest post i've ever written.
everythings so random.
hrmm.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

argh. my body's screwed.
i feel like puking now.
and my heads spinning a lil.
i need some fucking panadol.
and i can't seem to find any at home.
WHY?!

the pressure is getting to me.
but i don seem to be doing anything bout it.
english tmr.
and i don feel quite right.
ohh, fuck.
i think i should just rip my head apart.
hatesthis.

and did i mention how cheated i felt like yesterday?
when TOAD AND PQ
decided to CHEAT MY FEELINGS!
argh!
$#@!

was at j8 just now.
and i really feel like slapping that stupid woman
at the 7-11.
major annoyance.
and all cause of her, i had to walk all the way back to the other 7-11.
bitchface.
HAH.

and all thanks to zailee.
i had to change my theme for art.
and after tt.
when i "re-did" my art after much thought.
she told me to stop drawing such morbid pictures and draw bout the bad incidents.
ohh hell,
sighh.
BIG SIGHHS.
why are the fucking art questions so difficult?!

damnit.
i need sleep.
willyoubeinmydreamstonight?
imissyou.
and i can't deny tt anymore.
can't hold out any longer.
i'll always remember.. .
fate decided to make a sudden turn.
ARGH.
imissyoulikeFUCK.
canyoufeelit?
obviously not.
im just wasting my time.
sighh.

Sunday, April 24, 2005

when bad things happen.
they usually do one after another.

haven't felt like this in a pretty long time.
and not tt i wish to either.
tt sudden rush of emotions,
came smashing back.
just tearing everything into pieces.

i thought it was over.
i thought i said my goodbyes.
but i guess theres just this lil space in my heart tt belongs to you.
and only you alone.

you can't always have what you want.
now thats life.
since thats a fact.
im not gon try to change it.

sighh.
i miss you badly.

Saturday, April 23, 2005

:) ??!

:( ??!

should i be happy or sad?

whatever.
life goes on still.
even if i don want it to.

Friday, April 22, 2005

i need some control over myself.
exams,
ohh screw them.

i think im gon look at the exam papers.
and say this to myself.
"wtf is this?"
HOW?!
hah.

i feel like ripping my head apart.
fuck.
wot do you do when everything goes wrong?
or doesn't seem to go your way?


cause it's you and me and all of the people
with nothing to do
nothing to lose
and it's you and me and all of the people
and i don't know why
i can't keep my eyes off you

nothing i do is ever right.
so i think im not gon do anything.
ohh fuck.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

exams.
ANNOYING.
i think im gon fail it damn well.

wot an eventful day.
really.
shan't go into the details.

gawdsaveme.
loves her.
argh.
imissher.
:( whereareyou?

i think im losing it.
ohh fuck.
sighh.
everythings getting to me.
even things tt i thought din matter anymore.
urgh.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

practice wot you preach.
and others can say nothing.
true? not true?

im starting to get kinda sick of all these class politics.
heh.
i've yet to talk to miss lim bout the withdrawal.
shall do it soon.
before the term closes.

lots has been happening.
and i think im gon throw some of them aside.
and leave them unresolved.

lessons have been
ohh-so-boring.
even wit an occasional lame joke or two.
i think i've just lost interest in my surroundings.

imissher.
but i think someone misses her even more so.
but tts okae.
i'll just have to accept tt.

blah blah blah.
FUCK THE EXAMS.

Sunday, April 17, 2005

just read some stuff.
kinda did sting a lil,
hrmm.

i've gotten myself into some kinda mess recently.
and i don intend to give in so easily.
so yepp.
we'll see bout it.

empty vessels make the most noise.
agree?
i really do.

fuck im tired.
blog another day.

happydayall.

imissthatone.its been hours!

Thursday, April 14, 2005

tsk tsk.
ohh what an exciting day
:)
im fuck tired
43 43 43 43 43 43 43 43 43 43!

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

just because you don go looking for smthing.
it doesn't mean it can't look for you.
im human.
very much like all of you.
born wit emotions.
born to fear pain.
think you know me?
think again.
fuck. don push it.

this life has been overrated.
i don need your attitude ;
i've one of my own.

you sure do make alot of noise
for someone whos got barely anything in there.
FUCK.
AHHHHHHH.
"you've got a part in this too"
ohh fuck, obviously i wasn't the only one talking.
you pathetic no-lifer.
it was just my luck that i was called out okay.
i wasn't even distracting anyone around me.
if you'd just listen for once.
without being biased towards anyone.
and like stop giving special treatment to others.
and ohh. how could i forget. stop LYING. you're sucha fucking lousy actor and liar.
hahaa.
ohh. nerds don know how to lie.

hrmm.
sorry. but the fact is.
you're just plain stupid and we all hate you.
so don go and start getting all drama and weepy
when we tell you the truth.
right smack in your face.
and fuck.
what right do you have to yell at my friend?
BITCHY.
hatesit.

and so we've become the scapegoats now.
its okae. i believe in karma.
:)

sorry?
maybe things would have been different.
if you had actually decided to sit down and listen.
before jumping to conclusions.
ohh nvm.
i'm always misunderstood.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

its no use loosing my head over a person like you.
LOSER!
HAHAHAA.
and no im not talking bout lyw.

okae lets say,
its been a fucked up day for most of us.
all thanks to our bitched up form teacher,
and all those unsignificant fucks who screwed our day totally up.

lets get this clear.
i've never talked loudly/screamed or singed in class before.
okae. or at least during lessons.
i know some teachers do have a thing against me.
but fuck you anyhow for accusing me.
bitch.

and call yourself our form teacher.
its obvious that you're biased against my friends.
who actually mean alot to me.
so you m.fucker who are you to judge and call them bad influences.
and what do you mean by watch them throw their lives away.
so much so for not looking down on others.
ohh anyway thanks for your ''kind intentions''
im ohh-so-grateful.

fuck.
you're just this pathetic bitch.
whos got this fuckin attutide problem.
you pathetic loser.
i think you and - should go and hold hands and go fly kites.
birds of a feather flock together.
now that makes sense.

bitched up.
okae. so im gon have to see the bitch again tmr.
i shall redraw from class comm.
and i hope nobody wants to be your pathetic fuckin treasurer.

ohh suki if you ever see this.
you'll be in my prayers tonight :)
lotsa love.
be strong

thanks for opening up a healing wound again.
fuck.

Friday, April 08, 2005

home sweet home at last?!
hrmm.
fuck doesn't sound right.
memories that have faded away keep on flooding back.
i don know why.

lets see.
i'm finally ready to let go now.
after 1 year, 3mnths and 7 days.

why?
cause i've finally realised that.
the wait isn't always worth it?
especially when you realise that.
you mean absolutely nothing to that person.
wotts the point of holding onto nothing,
but superficial memories?
by giving it all up.
you ain't got nothing to loose?
cause afterall the person doesn't even give a fuck in the first place.

okae.
just felt like blogging it here.
don know why either.

and you m.fucker
don't fucking vent your anger on me.
cause each time you do it.
you do it without any consideration.
ohh, your choice of words.
fuck them.
screwed i am.
but you ain't got the right to look down on me.

URGH.
SLEEP DEPRIVED I AM.

Thursday, April 07, 2005

major humiliation day.
shuttle run SUCKS la.
shan't go into details.
hahaa.
ITS NOT FUNNY.

ohh my fuck.
hahaa. someone apparently misinterpreted wot i wrote.
like. nvm.
thats okae.
bring it on! :)
i love challenges. hrmm.
hahaa.
we'll see who'll have the last laugh.

rest well world =p

Monday, April 04, 2005

i think i need some change for the good.
things that used to matter.
don anymore?

i'm tired.
im exhausted.
im dying of fatigue.
fuck.

imissyou.
thats all i've gotta say for now.

fuck. grow up please.
hell.
i think you're just confused.
okae. whatever.
none of my fucking business.

ohh.
and if you've got a problem wit me.
hahaa.
do i look like i care?

Friday, April 01, 2005

fuck. my dads driving me nuts.
rather everyone at home is driving me nuts.
schools my new playground.
homes my fucked up hotel.

i just hate these mood swings.
anyway. was just reflection upon last year.
and comparing it wit this year at the same time.
and i realised that i how i dealt wit things back then was kinda stupid.
but hey.
everyone has to undergo a learning process.

everything was so accidental.
or was it just fate?
even though i don quite believe in it anymore.
thats okae.
i think i know what im lookin for now.
its a pretty clear distinguished line.
i'll get over it someday.
urgh fuck.
i don need a repeat of last year.
LIVESTRONG
i'll keep that in mind.

fuck the dumb headaches.
is my head gon crack?
moms gon be back tmr.
sucks.
ohh yea. just realised how lucky i was that day during spotcheck.
nearly got busted.
luckily i threw it away in time.
sighh.
nothing else to say.
im gon go get some sleep now.
dead tired.