Thursday, March 31, 2005

ohh hey bitch.
i can make you very very sorry.
i'll treat you the way you treat me.
just watch out.

just read someone's blog.
full of angst i must say.
you had it coming.
you just didn't see it.
i told you.
what goes arnd comes arnd.
it really does.
you get it now?

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

pretty slack day in school.
lets see. there was no art, no bio and no maths.
SHIOK.

ohh fuck.
i hate it when people " ASSUME "
anyway. pretty interesting ghost stories today.
kinda freaked me out a lil.
"it was in the same cubicle. just above the shower"
like, okae...

i need some quiet time alone.
without all these distractions.
my heads hurting once again.
fuck, i want some sleep.

Monday, March 28, 2005

im fuckin tired now.
all thanks ta,
this morns stupid PE lessons.
which we spent running,
and running.
all cause of our fucked up timing.
now screw tt.
annoyance.

ohh well lets see.
its been yet another retarded day.
wit us behaving like complete fools,
dancing and jumping all arnd the room,
wit the music blasting on.
and trying ta imitate the mats out there.
pretty memories :)

alls been fine.
nothing major goin on in my life.
ho. like wotts the point of takin it so seriously.
afterall.
nobody takes ya seriously in the first place.
bitch.

something seems ta be missin,
or rather, it just doesn't feel quite right.
i don know.
hah. life goes on anyway.
sometimes even all the happiness in the world can't make you happy?

when all else fails.
all i need is just some eyecandy.
it just makes my day.
its pretty hard not ta smile,
at someone who looks like tt.

lotsa
lesbian love
ta all those who made me happy today =p

Sunday, March 27, 2005

they say curiosity killed the cat.
and im starting te see some truth in tt.
lalaa.

just reached home not too long ago.
went for mass and left halfway.
cause the mass was really ohh-so-boring and not ta mention L O N G.
my gosh, even after 2 hrs.
it still wasn't time for communion yet.
then we headed down ta holland v after tt.
and went ta nydc for some "supper"
ate like nobody's business.
urgh.
fats please.
so embaressing too.

walked and retarded arnd for a while after tt.
and the guilt is starting ta kinda kick in.
hrmm.
ohh well. wotts done is done.
dad fetched me and pq home after tt.

zzz. feelin kinda sleepy.
guess i'll go catch some sleep now.
gon go for a morning run tmr.
i seriously need ta run my fats away.
annoyance.

Friday, March 25, 2005

haven't been home since thursday.
well.
lotsa pretty memories are there ta stay.
sk and i had some sharing just now.
and well.
pretty interesting and predictable.
and then i realised.
smthng. not so good?
ohh fuck la.
hahaa.
its really the end.
inside joke. heh. =P
ohh i can't wait for school ta start. :)

i think im finally growing up.
am i?
long gone were those.
i'll just haf ta learn te let go.
ain gon watch my walls crash.
i won cry this time round.
i'll fight it till the end.

Thursday, March 24, 2005

i don know.
if its cause of the fact.
tt theres someone out there better then me.
or if its cause i still loveyou.
anyhows thank you very much.
for digging up the past again.
even if ye din mean te do so.

scars that were fading away.
now return.

Monday, March 21, 2005

first day of school and i've already been scolded by gail siow.
for being a distraction in class?
hrmm.
okae. wotteva.
learnt something today.
not te offer sweets te toad.
cause she'd get super high.
and. don wanna know the rest.

the rule of the game is not te loose ye head.
in situations like these.
and i think im going CRAZY.
my heads kinda hurting real bad.
i feel like giving up.
in everything.
i don wanna even try no more.
i don see the point.

i figured out tt even if the world stopped spinning.
the pain doesn't just stop there.
its not tt i don know where the source comes from.
theres just nothing i can do bout it?

life is just too random for me te take it seriously.
don tell me im wasting my time.
cause. ye wasting ye time.
by even talking te me.

Saturday, March 19, 2005

shadows bleeding through the light
where a love once shined so bright
came without a reason
don let go on us tonight

love's not always black and white
haven't i always loved you?
but when i need you
you're almost here
and i know that's not enough

but when i'm with you
i'm close to tears
cause you're only almost here

bruised and battered by your words
dazed and shattered how it hurts
haven't i always loved you

someone give me a slap.
maybe i'd wake up from this dream.
from this illusion.
this superficial reality is killing me.
i ain't fighting wit anyone this time round.
its me against myself.
there are just something ye'd haf te give up.
and let it go.
its time i let my head lead my heart.
and not let my heart rule my head.
im starting te doubt my own intuitions.
its all psycological.
its just all up there in my head.
ohh. wotteva.
at the end of it all.
i just want te be me.

Friday, March 18, 2005

:( 459
my days been crazy.
im topshop obsessed.
help? someone? $$$

Thursday, March 17, 2005

how far wud ye hold ye walls up.
and keep the truth in.
just te keep yeself safe from harm.
how long wud ye live in self-denial.
and try te forget.
how much wud ye do.
just te make things right?

missyou.

night trek was freakin scary.
urgh.
four-letter-word. @#$%

im so tired.
of everything.
physically and mentally.
i just wanna turn back time.
maybe things wud haf turned out fine.
i need a miracle.
can this get any more dead.

sighh.
i guess its all psycological.
its all up there in my head.
ohh fuck tt now.
im gon look forward te some shopping tmr.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

gon be off for odac camp tmr.
im so excited please. =P
sucks.
i missed someone in town today.
urgh.
as in. din get te see someone.
sighh.

there are many things which.
seem a lil uncertain.
but i know for sure.
i ain't gon watch my life.
fall apart again.

everytime i try te get outta this mess.
something just has te knock me in the head.
and ohh. down i go again.
i guess in our lives.
there are just certain pple who cannot be replaced.
now tts a fact.

guess i shud start packing.
and stop wasting my time.

every waking day
you take my breath away
with every word you say
you take my breath away
you look at me that way
baby come what may
i hope that you'll always know
how you take my breath away

tiring day.
finally able te get some rest.
and i can't believe for the 2nd time.
i paid 6.50 te sleep in a cinema.
wtf mate.
sucks please.
i don quite like the holidays.
for a simple reason.
ain't gon say it here.
hope tmrs gon be a better day.

i miss someone =P
sighh.

Sunday, March 13, 2005

urgh. ain't too sure bout this now.
can't stop retarding arnd for some reason.
even when im like.
annoyed?
ohh gawd.
theres fucking maths class tmr.
"maybe if ye'd pay more attention ye'd do even better"
fuck off please.
84 isn't good enuf?
bitch.

gotta get outta this mess.
before i drown.

Saturday, March 12, 2005

like. go ahead.
just screw up my life for me.
thank you.
i don giva fuck bout wot ye expect from me.
don holler at me tt way.
look down on me?
ho.
fuckin call yeself my parents.
even after i tried.
ye said i still wasn't good enough.
heh.
thanks for ye constructive criticism.
get a life.
honestly.

they say.
when ye gain something.
ye loose something too.
but. i ain't quite feelin the pain.
it ain't tears of pain and sadness no more.
its tears of pent up frustrations.

fuck off world.
i want some peace.
i don wanna hear no more voices.
i don wanna haf te explain anything.
i don wanna haf te smile.
i don wanna haf te wake up.

empty promises made to be forgotten.
and lies to hide the painful truth.
bleed to stop time.
bleed for love.
bleed for pain.
and lets bleed to express.
rage is eating my heart alive.
im swinging outta control.
we'll say our last goodbyes.
and i watched your shadow shrink.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

don give me tt now.
i think im feelin it.
ohh fuck.
i needa break.
i think im cracking up again.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

hey wotteva.
ye don haf te screw up my life.
just ta make things bad for me.
ohh one min im good.
the next min im throwing my temper all about.
ohh screw tt.
all tt shit ye've been saying bout me.
so fuck the school if i've been "missing". somehow.
hell. wotts this shit bout.
wanna make me sign in and out?
like. wtf am i?
a prisoner?
hell.
so tt explains it all.
why everyones so uptight bout wot i do.
"ohh. the schools watching ye".
absolute fuck.
i've my my results te get me outta shit.
hell. why are they actually holding on te me like tt.
its messing up my life.
i just wanna live.
im me. don bother te change me.
or read me.
glad i went for counselling today.
if not i'd still be kept in the dark.
fuck off world.
i wanna be alone.

Monday, March 07, 2005

lets say ye've liked this someone alott.
for really long.
and ye've tried millions of way te get over this someone.
and somehow its just now working out.
and along the way.
there are other distractions who come along the way.
but at the end of it all.
ye know ye just decevin yeself.
its just another attempt te forget tt someone.
its still tt someone ye love.
and it still gets te ye.
each time.
and it like kinda makes ye do stuff ye regret.
it just makes ye crack up real badly inside.
and sometimes ye just feel like ending it all.
and as a result.
i make stupid rash decisions.
sighh. i don know.
im just getting kinda sick of all this nonsense.
all this shit its been causing.

i wish all the best for that special someone.
the world doesn't haf te end today i guess.

ohh like just screw this please.
pe totally sucked.
cause she made us run an extra round cause we were 7 mins later then the rest?
hrmm.
wtf mate.
urgh. hello.
its 2.4km?!

lalala.
went te cut my hair after school today.
kinda regret cutting my hair.
i miss my chicken backside already.
hrmm.
okae.
lets get this right.
IM NOT A BUNG.
ohh sucks please. -_-"
i miss herrrrrrrr.
lalalalalalalaaaa.
sighh.
i so shud not haf cut my hair please!

gawd save me.
theres maths, art and chinese.
omfg.
its sucha shitty day tmr.
hrmm.
sighh.
suckerrrrrrrr.

Sunday, March 06, 2005

back from adventure camp.
wit a fucking burn on my arms and back.
and wit many happy and retarded memories.
words can't express how i feel.
so i'll just keep em te myself.
here i go.
scream my lungs out and try te get te you.
you are my only one.
was like singing tt the whole day.

and did i mention how horribly i was tortured.
by toad and cheryl.
at 2 , 3 am in the morning.
having te suffer the agony of being tickled.
and not being able te scream.
cause i din wanna wake up half the world.
sucks please.
interesting conversation we had.
hrmm.

after camp.
headed home.
bathed, changed and went out te meet toad
had lunch/dinner wit toad, suk kian and the rest.
no more tickels this time round.
but was forced te eat some stuff.
hrmm.
was supp te catch danceworks.
but by the time we reached there.
we were like. a lil late?
woops.
hrmm.

wanted te watch white noise after tt.
met the whole grp of em again.
and made a joke outta someone =P
then we changed our minds and wanted te watch hitch.
but fuck.
the damn tickets were like all sold out.
so we settled for some dumb shit show.
the mechanist.
and it was ohh-so-boring please.
sucker.
slept halfway during the show.
toad was like even better.
came home.
and slept like a log.

tried te make things right before i left.
but fate was helping much.
but tts okae.
no tears this time round.
i'm moving on.
slowly.

guess the camp helped te make me realise.
tt i cud take more then i thought i cud.
and guess wot.
i think i've fallen for tt someone.
sucker.
am i really tt ohh-so-predictable.
hrmm.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

gon be off for adventure camp tmr.
ohh sucker.
don quite feel like going.
simply cause.
i hate te admit it but.
cause seshaa's not gon be there te haf fun as well.
so it feels kinda sick.
knowin ye friend can't be there.
and shes like gon miss out and all tt crap.
doesn't feel good.

and like fuck.
mrs mah happily called up my mom.
cause i din turn up for detention.
ohh wot a sucker.
but like. wotteva please.

my lifes been pretty dead.
cause of this stupid flu.
im like.
so lethargic everyday.
and tt sucks.
totally.
fuck. tt sounds bimbotic.
hell.

i think i miss someone.
but tts okae.
nothing worth getting depressed over.
even though..

its not a question of who?
its a question of why.
hell.
and no.
no matter how i look at her.
shes still not cute.
but shes really pretty though.
its just this something
bout tt someone.
hahh. wotteva.