ohh yah and did i mention my mum talked te tjl as well. hah. she said tt tjl wanted te work with my mum and asked why i wasn't concentrating on my studies. fer gods sake. just stop bugging me ye guys. all i did was start studying late, or else, i culd haf passed too. sucha heavy price te pay fer slacking. damn it. and now my mum says shes gonna report te my teachers when i go back te school and stuff. oh and she claims tt its da teachers tt want her te do so. when i said tt she was paranoid, she said tt since i was like tt how not te be paranoid. fuck it man. screwing up my results isn't the end of the world. i feel like some criminal. enuf is enuf. i'm already doing ye godamned tys although i hate te do so. fuck you man. arghh! one day i'll go jump of a building and tt wuld end all this. screw you. just leave me alone okay. get a fucking life.
each cut represents my anger and hate
went back te school today fer band.. so boring. hah. can't be helped made the wrong decision in sec1. too late te change it. ahhh. sickening.. went fer maths tuition after tt. haha. so happy. i'm gonna go dragon boating tmr.. :) and therex gonna be editing after tt. i can predict tt its gonna be damn boring.. haha.. shhh!! damn. when i told my mum tt i had dragon boating tmr. she asked why i din tell her earlier on. and said i was irresponsible by always telling her things at the last min. HELLO THERE. WUTEVER TT GOES ON IN MY LIFE DOESN'T REALLY CONCERN YE. bitch. then she went on and on and on. all the neh neh neh. !~@#$%^&* damn it. i really hate ye fer meddling in my life. FUCK OFFF!!!!!
okay. i thought i culd escape the meet the principal session. but FUCKIT jo teo just had te call me using my mother's hp te say tt i had te come back te school. ok. so i had te go back te school once again when i had just reached home. :( damn. i knew i was really in fer it. hah. the moment i stepped inte the office. jo teo was like miss long. are ye parents sitting fer the paper. or are ye the one. and ye hair is getting redder!@#$%^&* fuckit. whatever man. went in and sat down.. before all tt jo teo had actually complained te my mum tt my hair was spikey and tt my belt was too low and so were my socks. wtf. and after tt my mum kept on nagging at me non-stop bout my uniform. fuck her. and she was like i'm so gonna confiscate ye wax. hah. wutever. go ahead and take it. ohh well back te wut happened in the office. teddy tan nagged at me non-stop again.. and asked if i had a schedule fer my hols? i was like huh?! schedule? wut schedule?! then just cux all i did was nod my head and say nuthing else, she was like i really dun't know if i shuld take ye seriously or not? WTF MAN. wut do ye want me te do. so now.. im being supervised CLOSELY by mother. accrding te her tts wut miss tan told her te do. FUCKER MAN. and all thanks te miss tan, i've got myself new storybooks fer the hols. i've got myself some maths tys @!#$%^&* ffffuckit. bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch. and now my mother is fucking paranoid abt wut i do and where i go. ok. how bout locking me up? hows tt? how bout disconnecting the cable so i can't go online anymore. how bout hiring a PI te spy on me. bitch fuck off. maybe if ye do all tt i'll come straight home from school and do my homework and go te sleep by 10 .BITCH. FUCKOFF FROM MY LIFE. STOP ANNOYING ME AND GETTING IN MY WAY. I REALLY WANNA TELL YE THIS. I HATE YE. I HATE YE SO MUCH I WANNA KILL YE.
sigh. just came back from sch not long ago. still decidin on wether i shud skip piano or not. haha. went fer ipw today haha.. my grp went down te the org te do the shooting.. and at first, we stepped inte secondary school and i swear it was damn freaky. when we walked past the canteen they were like staring at us and they were all like, " hi!! " ohh man. and there was this guy following us. eeks. scary. haha. hah. walked arnd the school te flim the kids and stuff there was this really cute lil boy haha. he was like smiling at the camera and stuff. bleahx. had a really good sleep on da way back. argh. saturday's getting nearer. sccrew it.
wha.. wut a hot hot day it has been. the stupid sun rays were like burning my skin. argh hot hot hot! haha.. had the netball carnival thing earlier on. ohh well. my class forfeited the cheerleading part. acks. my class is in need of bimbos haha. crap. tjl said she wasn't surprised as our class had already disapointed her from the beginning of da year. so. hrmm. wuts tt supp te mean? acck after the netball carn. went te macs fer lunch and walked te leisure park? or wut was it again. ahh. who cares it was a long walk. argh. haha.. went ice skating there it was pretty fun eh. minus the falling down and getting bruises and blisters part. so.. there was this ass who was going arnd showing off and stuff haha.. then i saw him fall lol. the feeling was like damn shiok haha.. after seeing the guy going round and round and doing nice nice things. he fell. hahaahaha.. so happy fer him. ok. this is getting crappier and crappier. byes. :)
just came back from my chalet at pasir ris last night. was super duperly tired. moment i went home i went to zzz land te meet the zzz monster. hahx. and crap. i was told this morning tat i was sleep talking while i was at the chalet?! so its like wth?! i din even know wut happened lah?!? eeeks. wut if i start talking rubbish. heh. i survived my walkathon. i think ching, shuyi and me were prob one of da first groups in my class te reach school. acck. torture. hah. maybe its just me. argh. wutever.
its another fucking scrrewed up day today.. i flunked practically almost all my papers.. only passed english right on da dot. i think its as good as failing it. doesn't make a diff te me anyway. i dun't think i deserved te pass. i din even put in any effort. god save me i dun't know how im gonna spill the news te my mum. i din even do so badly last year. fuck it. i've been slacking like mad.. nvm. least i dun't sleep in class anymore. crap. i dun't know how i managed a 0/20 fer my structred ques fer bio. ohh fuck it. this is screwed. acck. i dun't know why im actually bothering te study when i still fail like fuck. maybe i'll just give up and let go. hah. then i'll fail my end of year and i'll retain and maybe the year next too.. then someday they'll kick me outta school. hah. craps.
i dun't know wtf im doing. i screwed up my life. acck.
another sian day sch.. had the dumb course again. luckily its da last daY we're having tt dumb activity. checking papers again!! boohoo!!. dun't wanna see the results :( think im like gonna flunk all of em. before i went inte the hall fer miss tan's talk i was all clean, then after tt i came out all colourful! all thanks to ching ee lim. argh!! sickening! so malu when i had te go home on the train..
im not bimbotic! im not a bimbo! im not bimbotic! im not a bimbo! im not bimbotic! im not a bimbo! im not bimbotic! im not a bimbo! im not bimbotic! im not a bimbo! im not bimbotic! im not a bimbo!
Life is like chemistry:
dilute your sorrows,
evaporate your worries,
filter your happiness & you will find,
crystals of love.
haha.. went out te town after a long and boring day in sch. had some damn boring course and spent almost the rest of the day in the hall.. had a fun time after i came home from town with cinta.. hahaha.. if my mum finds out i'll be so screwed. LOL ohh well.. really tired. im off now. good byes. :)
haha. skipped cath class and tuition today.. was so tired this morning but i forced myself te get up by 10 anyway. went down te ikea just now. fer wut. i dun't know.. cousin's and all were there too. they were buying stuff fer their rooms. ohh well. ain't any of my concern. damn.. and now im back home. feeling so bored and all. so here i am te blog bout absolutely nuthing interesting at all MUAHAHAHAS. SIAN. OKAY CAPS LOCK SPOIL. OOPSIE. HAHA. ALL IN CAPS. LOOKS LIKE AS THOUGH IM SOME NUTTER SHOUTING OHH WELL. WHATEVER HAHAA.
just finished fooling arnd. haha. felt so much happier. :) acck. time te sleep.
fuckit fuckit fuckit fuckit fuckit fuckit fuckit fuckit fuckit fuckit fuckit fuckit
i had a real screwed up session during piano. dun't wanna think bout it no more. argh. i dun't know wut came over me anyway.
was in town earlier. hanging arnd. hahs. before tat went te watch ongy haf her hair snipped off. :) crap. dun't wanna think bout the rest of the day.
sick and tired of being tormented inside out.
Oh, Johnny wishes he was famous
Spends his time alone in the basement
With Lennon and Cobain and
A guitar and a stereo
And while he wishes he could escape this
But it all seems so contagious
Not to be yourself and faceless
And a song that has no soul
I remember feeling low
I remember losing hope
And I remember all the feelings and the day they stopped
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
Oh, I dreamed of losing faith and what she knows
And some music hits on the foreclose
Thinks of surgery and a new nose
And the galleries of war
And while she wishes she was a dancer
And that she’d never heard of cancer
She wishes God would give her some answers
And make her feel beautiful
I remember feeling low
I remember losing hope
I remember all the feelings and the day they stopped
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
One day, you’ll have to let it go
You’ll have to let it go
No...
One day, you’ll stand up on your own
You’ll stand up on your own
Remember losing hope
Remember feeling low
Remember all the feelings and the day they stopped
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
We are (one day), we are all innocent
We are all innocent (you’ll have to let it go)
We are, we are (you’ll have to let it go, no..)
We are (one day), we are all innocent
We are, we are (you’ll stand up on your own)
We are, we are all innocent (you’ll stand up on your own..)
We are, we are all innocent
crap. i sccrewed up all my papers just like i sccrewed up my life. all the mistakes i made. repeated over and over again. looks like i ain't learnin from my mistakes huh? crap. if this life is so miserable why not end it right now. so i guess misunderstandings are part of life. hecck it.i'll make it through.. each time i fall. i haf 2 options. sit there and cry and wallow in self-pity or stand up again on my own 2 feet. i choose the 2nd option. i swore not te cry ever again for any particular reason. great. my dad's nagging at me te get off the comp. heeck go and and disconnect the cable fer all i care. wutever.
each time i fall. i'll grow stronger.
acck. BORED. im gonna be stuck at home all day. why? cux i've got exams next week. boohoos. can't wait fer this period te be over.
CRAP. ohh right. i shan't be a bitch no more.. i've thought abt it. it ain't my business so i shan't comment abt it. hahs. //im neither here nor there//
ohh nearly fergot.. I LOVE MY STRAWBERRY!!!
it's pointless to hold on to something,
you know would never be yours.
so i figured out,
i had to learn how to let go.
and i did.
FAREWELL
hahx. this was posted by cinta on behalf me. just thought ye might wanna know
hurx. if i wanted te commit suicide. i'd slash my wrists te death. cux right then the pain might be so great tat it wuld numb the pain inside. hah. its just a thought.
i'll slash and slash slash.
i'll watch it bleed.. and bleed even more.
i dun't feel the pain no more..
in fact, all i see is a crimson river.
i still love her cuz everything i wrote is the opposite of what she is!muahahhas.
those i wrote were for someone else!
okay im here te blog bout cinta :
ye are a fat and ugly pig with no brains.. uhh.. likes kissing cows eats like a pig loves good looking guys.. likes te contridict herself. a two faced bitch and likes te badmouth pple and loves te eat shit..
but overall...
i still love her.. muahahahhahahahs :)
seems like just yesterday,
you were a part of me.
i used to stand so tall.
i used to be so strong.
your arms around me tight ;
everything, it felt so right.
unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong.
now i can't breathe.
no, i can't sleep.
i'm barely hanging on
swallow me, then spit me out.
for hating you, i blame myself.
seeing you it kills me now.
no, i don't cry on the outside
anymore...
here i am, once again.
i'm torn into pieces,
can't deny it, can't pretend.
just thought you were the one.
broken up, deep inside.
but you won't get to see the tears i cry
behind these hazel eyes.
#jer
210789
threenine'05
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